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Here's A Good Reason To Marry Your Best Friend




When it comes to success, we live in a very individualized culture that likes to emphasize the importance of being independent and self-reliant.

These beliefs are especially very common within relationships. You grow up hearing all the time that you’re in charge of your future, that you shouldn’t depend on other people, and that you’re in charge of your happiness.

If you depend on your partner, then you’re told you’re needy and that you should learn to develop yourself to be a more independent person. However, in the book “Attached,” researchers Amir Levine and Rachel Heller talk about how this way of thinking in relationships is wrong, and from a biological perspective, false. They point out that “numerous studies show that once we become attached to someone, the two of us form one physiological unit.”

This means that when my partner feels sad, I feel sad. When my partner is happy, I’m happy. My partner regulates my blood pressure, heart rate, and hormones. So when she reacts, I react as well, and I won’t be able to control it. We become a unit, and as a result, I will do anything to protect her and make sure she’s alright. Therefore, “Dependency is a fact. It is not a choice or a preference,” as Levine and Heller say.

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