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Love and Hip New York Season 7 Episode 1: Guess who's bizack!?! #LHHNY

After much delay, FINALLY the best installment of Love & Hip Hop has returned to the small screen! Allright, time for another weekly ratchet update:

1. Cardi is back! And better than ever with her new teeth and full human hair weaves. Not sure about the addition of Hennessy as Cardi the Remix, but I'll give her a chance. I mean anyone who compares Cardi, Jesus and haters in one sentence can't be all bad.

2. So the Creep Squad is out here initiating new members! Felicia "Snoop" Pearson is sure to give everyone a run for their money with that Baltimore swag. Can't wait to see her and Peter face off. Over/under bet is 3 weeks before Self or Cisco tries to take her girl...and loses painfully.

3. Okay so Yandy why did you have to wait for the show to restart to contact Mendecees baby mama? This is all looking entirely too made for TV. Unfortunately you do have to work with the custodial parent to see the child, so um yeah, good luck with that.

4. Well guess who's bizack??? Kimbella (still pretty) obviously hasn't been doing enough outside of the show so here she is back in the fold. Curious how long the happy family storyline with last with Juelz because anyone focused on making a comeback in the rap game is probably not going to be the best husband...

5. Aw shucks, Cardi got a love interest?? Who doesn't seem to be someone else man? Allright, can't wait to see how this develops and how long her jailhouse rock romance manages to survive.

Sidenote: Chicken Noodle Soup is still irrelevant #NEXT

6. Remy and Papoose are such the sweet ghetto love story. I'm still not sure why he wants to knock her up so bad seeing as they're both 7,000 years old. He should get a puppy and move on, Remy is about that paper and her rap career window is swiftly closing. She better freeze them eggs and keep rapping.

7.  So riddle me this, Snoop's girlfriend isn't gay, she just fell in love with Snoop? I'm sensing a theme with these gay for pay L&HH cast members. And you left your whole life and career in Chicago, but now you're ready to leave because a fan wanted a picture? Clearly this relationship will not be making it to the end of the season.

8. Has anyone noticed a pattern that Yandy consistently seems to fall out with every girl that she's cool with? Her female friendships are just as elusive as her business dealings.

9. Welp, scratch #5, Cardi can't ever seem to have her own man. I'm not quite sure why you need your producer at your dentist appt if nothing else is going on, but um okay. And speaking of your producer, could he have hung up on his girlfriend any faster?? #ByeBAE

10. I didn't think I could see an uglier cry than Intervention until tonight. Seriously, this is the worst cry-off ever.

Allright, just enough good drama to get us hooked, til next week folks!

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